Self-Improvement

[LOS Marijuanos]

~Enjoy Life~

Everyday there is much change all around. The weather changes, the time changes, and the mood changes. Every thing is constantly moving. Cars are always moving forward, stop lights are always blinking a different color then the ones behind them, and the wind lets the trees and the grass dance for a while with the lonely leaves…. People often get so caught up in their own movement that it becomes impossible to notice the every day change that is all around.

The things we use to appreciate are the things we take for granted. The glass of happiness and satisfaction gets bigger and more difficult to fill up. The routine of wanting more is a daily inevitability. In todays world wanting more is all we know. Social icons and television always promise happiness and satisfaction as long as we keep doing “this” or keep buying “that”. The tolerance level for happiness shoots way up, and what ever satisfies us now, must be more complex then what did satisfy us a week ago. If only we could learn to appreciate the things we take for granted, and the things that are not so complex, we could then be ultimately satisfied and remain happy forever.

Every day there is much change all around, while the one thing that needs a good change, doesn’t. We fear change because change could interrupt our stability and it could ruin our temporary satisfaction. Sometimes we know we could use a change, but we pretend that we don’t, --and soon that thought gets pushed to the back of our mind, only to come out when we are alone. For some of us change is brought by inspiration, for others, change is brought by tragedy, and some times, every once and a while, the idea of change just clicks. When it clicks, you could be going through your mid life crisis, looking back on your so called life. And you also could be old, wise and on your death bed finally realizing what it’s all about, or you could be a 15-year-old with an open mind. But no matter when it clicks, it will feel like your reborn, viewing the world for the first time. A while after the great change you will notice the every day change that is all around, and appreciate it like you once did, and not only will your glass of happiness and satisfaction be full like before, it will overflow, and that’s when you will realize that every thing is gonna be alright.

[LOS Marijuanos]

~How to Choose Your Friends~

Learn what a person does, then you have no reason to fear them. If they are unhealthy, unmotivated, or unfaithful to their lovers, they will tend to be back stabbers and manipulators. These people also are easily controlled if they think they can "get something out of it". If you can somehow make them healthy and happy they can be relatively loyal.

If you know what a person needs, you can use them. . . like a toy train set. You can make them go and do your bidding, or maybe you can even use them to help themselves - if you're smart enough. That's usually the best way. Always help people first - if you can understand how to help them, they will help you back. They can't help it.

If a person doesn't need anything and they know it, or if they're always helping you out without being tricky - those people make the best close friends to share intimate moments with and stuff.

If you realise that there is no good and bad - no friends and no enemies, you can see the situation clearly and have a deep friendship with anybody - even if they hate your guts. That is the best way.

When you use a spoon to pick up your cereal in the morning, don't take it for granted. If the spoon accidentally broke and spilled cereal over best suit - its you who was wearing your best suit in such risky situations, not the spoon. Take responsibility for yourself. Be deeply thankful for everything you're given. That is how you should treat people if you don't want to be stabbed in the back. If you want something done, you have to be able to trust yourself. If you made a bad decision in the equipment you use to scale a wall, and the rope breaks, who chose the rope? You did. If your frien lets you down in an important situation, its your foolishness for not understanding your friend. You should have checked your supplies better. Maybe now you can learn from your mistake.

[LOS Marijuanos]

~Teen Problems~

What the hell is everyones problem?! Everywhere you look, you see things about teens and their damn problems, and them having problems coping with their problems which never gets anywhere! Whether it be relationships, money, parents, you name it. All teens have a freakin’ problem.

All teens have a problem with money. They always have money problems, but stil want money which adds to theyre money problems! They blow all their money on stuff they don’t need, and then copmplain about how they have no money. Teens with no money have no right to complain. If a teen cant buy food, they shouldve thought twice before spending money on a CD. If teens buy things they don’t need, then later they cant get things thay DO need. The solution is that teens need to learn how to handle their money, and to learn good spending habits and to not have an allowance.

Teens also have many problems with relationships. This may be the biggest problem facing teens. I can’t stress this enough, it’s everywhere. Spend an hour in the mall, and you’ll have heard more than 5 relationship complaints from teens. Teens complain if they have a boyfriend or girlfriend, but they also complain if they don’t have one! Teen life is simple, work for what you need! Do something about your damn teen issues! If you have a partner, stop complaining! If you don’t have one, or if you don’t like your current partner, work on it! Teens who expect to get something from nothing lose the right to complain about their relationships.

Another thing I hear about a lot is jealousy. I hear it in many forms: “Oh (so-and-so) has this new (blah-blah-blah) that I have to get but I cant buy it because I spent money on crap I don’t need so I hate (so-and-so) based on that!” or, “Hey look at (so-and-so)’s (blah-blah-blah), I’m so (expression of envy/anger)!!”. It drives me nuts! Jealousy is a part of life, and teens who cant deal with it are weaklings. If someone sees another person with some great material posession, the first person must do whatever he/she can to get it, or so they try. Same goes for looks; I always see girls insulting more beautiful girls than themselves just because of the fact that the model/actor/singer is more beautiful than they are. The same goes for guys, which is why there is PE in schools. Teens go as far as stealing, fighting, or otherwise doing stupid things out of jealousy. If you can’t be someone else, stop trying to be, because in the end, people will think you’re a poser.

In conclusion, the teenage world is filled with greed, envy, and a lot of careless spending. Teens need to realize that life isnt about glory, fame, and material posessions. If you have a life, make the most of it with what little you have, and as time progresses, it will pay off. With that said, I hope I accomplished to inform teens to stop acting stupid and immature over their problems and never getting anywhere and to start dealing with it and actually getting somewhere.

[LOS Marijuanos]

~Reply To "Teen Issues"~

It’s politically incorrect to remark about anyone for their skin color, sexual preference, gender, or religious choice. So why the hell is it still politically correct to view teenagers as some sub-species of human?

Everyone has problems. Bitching at a certain age group might temporarily satisfy the empty place inside you where there should be pride at your own personal accomplishments…but what does it achieve?

Bigotry…You’ll start wearing Dr.Scholls therapeutic shoes and little short curly blue wigs with floral dresses and be like some fucked version of the KKK. Old ladies give me the most shit over being young. I didn’t expect to find that on totse.

If you had stopped for thirty seconds you might have realized that everyone has problems with money. Or hadn’t you noticed all of the 50 dozen odd debt consolidation agencies in America right now? No one is shot out of the amniotic sack knowing how to balance a checkbook or have good spending habits. Now “to learn good spending habits and not have an allowance” …Fabulous Idea. But how is a paycheck so painfully different from an allowance? I know old men who still can’t handle money, they usually declare bankruptcy. Or perhaps the government should consider setting an example. Our beloved country America is currently in debt HOW many billions of dollars? Now come on, we all know teens aren’t in legislature.

Society as a whole has a problem with relationships; or hadn’t you heard of divorce? I can name off the number of happy couples that I know of on one hand.

What you refer to as “damn teen issues” are universal issues that everyone faces in all stages of life. Teenagers are facing a lot for the first time or are at least still very new to the realities of the world. My biggest problem with this attitude toward them is that they aren’t viewed as people, or even worthy of attention. You first ignore them through some of the toughest phases in life and not TAUGHT them how to deal with anything and then wonder, WHY don’t they know when they hit twenty how to handle money, HOW to have a healthy working relationship. And instead of trying to better the situation you sit on your ass and BITCH! Much like you’re arch nemeses the ubiquitous teenager. You don’t even bitch in a constructive manner, what might have been a good article was a poorly written insult. This part however

“The teenage world is filled with greed, envy, and a lot of careless spending. Teens need to realize that life isnt about glory, fame, and material posessions. If you have a life, make the most of it with what little you have, and as time progresses, it will pay off. With that said, I hope I accomplished to inform teens to stop acting stupid and immature over their problems and never getting anywhere and to start dealing with it and actually getting”

Great advise…to the world at large. But don’t go off on a rant saying that these issues are isolated to the teenage world, that’s bullshit. What, you hit twenty and all these issues disappear? In insulting the teenagers at large you aren’t improving anyone, you’re only going to piss them off.

Life could be great if it were so simple as “deal with you’re damn issues”. People worldwide invest thousands of dollars in therapy to deal with their damn issues. Teenage life is just like adult life, but to make the sweeping generalization that all teens have some damn problem and just need to get over it is ridiculous and offensive.

If people learned good spending habits at a young age and were actually trained to act like human beings society wouldn’t be so screwed. So next time you’re having a moment, think before you bitch.

[LOS Marijuanos]

~The Perfect Lingam Massage~

~18+~

The Sanskrit word for the male sexual organ is Lingam (pronounced LING-AHM, [LING rhymes with sing]) and is loosely translated as "Wand of Light." It's meaning is different in intention from the typical Western view of the penis (i.e., Cock, Prick, Dong, Dick, etc., words that may come from a limited perspective, depending on the intent of their usage). In Tantra/Sacred Sexuality, the Lingam is respectfully viewed and honored, a "Wand of Light" that channels creative energy and pleasure.

The purpose of the Lingam Massage is to create a space the receiver to relax, and receive expanded pleasure from his Lingam. His partner (the giver) experiences the joy of facilitating and witnessing the man surrendering to his softer, gentler side. The Lingam Massage can be used as a form of safer sex (when latex gloves are used) and is an excellent process to build trust and intimacy. It is often used to help men heal from negative sexual conditioning and trauma.

Orgasm is not the goal of the Lingam massage although it is often a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal is to massage the Lingam, also including testicles, perineum and Sacred Spot (the equivalent to the female G-spot), and allow the man to surrender to a form of pleasure he may not be used to. From this perspective both receiver and giver relax into the massage.

Men need to learn to RELAX and RECEIVE. Traditional sexual conditioning has the man in a doing and goal oriented mode. The Lingam Massage allows the man to experience his softer, more receptive side and experience pleasure from a non-traditional perspective.

PREPARATION

Take a relaxing bath or shower. Take your time and breathe deeply. Conscious, relaxed breathing will take you out of your mental process and will get you more into your feelings. Relax your belly and let go of the tension that most of us hold there.

Go to the bathroom before beginning the massage. The best results occur when the bowels and bladder are empty.

Let go of your thoughts and connect with your partner through hugging, holding, eye gazing (looking into each other's eyes for an extended time), bringing both of you to a place of relaxation and trust.

PROCEDURE

Have the receiver lie on his back with pillows under his head so he can look up at his partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under his hips. His legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and his genitals clearly exposed for the massage.

The giver sits cross-legged between the receivers' legs.

Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, chest, nipples, etc., to get the receiver to relax. Remind the receiver to breathe deeply and to sink deeper into relaxation.

Pour a small quantity of a high-quality oil (or water-based lubricant when using latex gloves) on the shaft of the Lingam and testicles. Begin gently massaging the testicles, taking care to not cause pain in this sensitive area. Massage the scrotum gently, causing it to relax. Massage the area above the Lingam, on the pubic bone. Massage the Perineum, the area between the testicles and anus. Take your time. You are giving a massage to an often neglected area of the body.

Massage the shaft of the Lingam. Vary the speed and pressure. Gently squeeze the Lingam at the base with your right hand, pull UP and slide off and then alternate with your left hand. Take your time doing this, right, left, right, left, etc. Then, change the direction by starting the squeeze at the head of the Lingam/penis and then sliding DOWN and off. Again, alternate with right and left hands.

Massage the head of the Lingam as if you are using an orange juicer. Massage all around the head and shaft. In Tantra there are many nerve endings on the Lingam that correspond to other parts of the body. It is said many ailments can be cured by receiving a good Lingam Massage.

NOTE: The Lingam may or may not go soft as you perform this technique. Do not worry if it doesn't get hard again. You will probably find that it will get hard, then go soft, get hard again, etc., which is a highly desirable Tantric experience, like riding a wave, bobbing up and down. Hardness and Softness are two ends of the pleasure spectrum.

If it appears that the receiver is going to ejaculate, back off, allowing the Lingam to soften a little before resuming the massage. Do this several times, coming close to ejaculation, and then backing off. Remember, the goal is not orgasm in and of itself. Men can learn the art of ejaculatory mastery and control by coming close to ejaculation and then backing off on the stimulation. Deep breathing is key here and will soften the urge to ejaculate. Eventually ejaculatory mastery will allow you to make love as long as you want and you can become multi-orgasmic without losing a drop of semen. Orgasm and ejaculation are two different responses that you can learn to separate. The result is a very expanded sex life.

Find and massage the male Sacred Spot. There are two ways to do this.

One is by finding the spot midway between the testicles and anus. There is a small indentation about the size of a pea or maybe larger. Be gentle and push inward. He will feel the pressure deep inside and it may be intensely painful at first. Eventually, as this area is worked on and softened, he will be able to expand his orgasms and master ejaculatory control. You can massage his Lingam with your right hand and massage his Sacred Spot with your left hand. Try pushing in on this spot when he nears ejaculation. It is aptly named the Million Dollar Point in Taoism.

The other way to access the Sacred Spot is through the anus. Many men, especially heterosexual men, are uncomfortable at first as a result of negative sexual conditioning. Be careful here and use lubrication. The key is to go slow and be very gentle. Make sure he is breathing as you slip a finger from your left hand into the anus about an inch or so. Then crook the finger back in a "come here" gesture. You will feel the prostate gland. Vary the pressure and speed of massage. He may want stimulation of the Lingam as you massage the Sacred Spot. Back off on the Lingam as he approaches orgasm and increase the pressure on the Sacred Spot.

Sometimes the man may have strong emotions come up during access to the Sacred Spot. He may cry and remember a traumatic event from his past. You, the giver, are in a place of trust and intimacy. Allow him to feel his emotions and be very loving, not trying to console or fix him, just let him feel whatever he needs to. Encourage him to scream, cry, moan, sob, if it feels appropriate. Be the best friend and healer he could have in that moment.

ENDING THE MASSAGE

If he chooses to let go and ejaculate, encourage him to breathe deeply during the orgasm. It will blow his mind, especially if he has come close and held back at least SIX times before ejaculating. Holding back six times charges up the sexual battery with tremendous energy. It is then his choice as to where he wants to send this energy -- out with their ejaculate (the prevailing paradigm) or inward for other uses (men who master ejaculation are able to channel this energy into other areas of their being).

When he feels complete with the massage gently remove your hands and allow him to lie there quietly. You may want to snuggle up together or you can leave the room and let him drift off into a meditative state. Allow him to fully experience his childlike innocence and magnificent male beauty.

Have fun with this technique and share it with your friends and loved ones.

[LOS Marijuanos]

~The Perfect Yoni Massage~

18+

Yoni (pronounced YO-NEE) is a Sanskrit word for the vagina that is loosely translated as "Sacred Space" or "Sacred Temple." It's meaning and use is an alternate perspective from the Western view of the female genitals (i.e., Pussy, Cunt, Twat, etc., words which may or may not be complimentary depending on the intent of their usage). In Tantra, the Yoni is seen from a perspective of love and respect. This is especially helpful for men to learn.

The purpose of the Yoni Massage is to create a space for the woman (the receiver) to relax, and enter a state of high arousal and experience much pleasure from her Yoni. Her partner (the giver) experiences the joy of being of service and witnessing a special moment. The Yoni Massage can also be used as a form of safer sex (when latex gloves are used) and is an excellent activity to build trust and intimacy. Some massage and sex therapists use it to assist women to break through sexual blocks or trauma.

The goal of the Yoni massage is not orgasm. Orgasm is often a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal is simply to pleasure and massage the Yoni/vagina. From this perspective both receiver and giver can relax, and not have to worry about achieving something. When orgasm does occur it is usually more expanded, more intense and more satisfying. Orgasm is allowed to happen or not happen.

It is also helpful for the giver to not expect anything in return. Just allow the receiver to enjoy the massage and to relax into herself afterwards. Of course, other sexual activity may follow but it should be entirely the receiver's choice. This perspective will build greater intimacy and trust, and will greatly expand your sexual horizons.

PREPARATION

Bathing is always helpful as it relaxes both the receiver and giver. A quiet space is desirable with pleasing music, candles, pillows, etc., or whatever makes the participants relax and feel safe. Allow yourself enough time and do not hurry through the process.

Go to the bathroom before beginning the massage. The best results will occur when the bowels and bladder are empty and you will avoid the unnecessary experience of interrupting the massage to go to the bathroom.

Connect with your partner by hugging, holding, eye gazing (looking into each other's eyes for an extended time), or whatever brings you to a place of safety and relaxation.

PROCEDURE

Have the receiver lie on her back with pillows under her head so she can look down at her genitals and up at her partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under her hips. Her legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and her genitals clearly exposed for the massage.

The giver sits cross-legged between the receivers' legs. The giver may wish to sit on a pillow or cushion. This position allows full access to the Yoni and other parts of the body.

Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Both giver and receiver should remember to keep breathing deeply, slowly and with relaxation during the entire process. The giver will gently remind the receiver to start breathing again if the receiver stops or takes shallower breaths. Deep breathing, not hyperventilating, is very important here.

Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, breasts, etc., to get the receiver to relax and for the giver to prepare for touching the Yoni.

Pour a small quantity of a high-quality oil or lubricant on the mound of the Yoni. Pour just enough so that it drips down the outer lips and covers the outside of the Yoni. (Several excellent sexual lubricants are available for this. Many lingerie shops, sex toy shops, sex magazines, etc., offer these safe lubricants. My favorite is Yoni Play from Looking Good Enterprises.)

Begin gently massaging the mound and outer lips of the Yoni. Spend some time here and do not rush. Relax and enjoy giving the massage. Gently squeeze the outer lip between the thumb and index finger, and slide up and down the entire length of each lip. Do the same thing to the inner lips of the Yoni/vagina. Take your time.

The receiver can massage her own breasts or may just relax and continue breathing deeply. It is helpful for giver and receiver to look into each other's eyes as much as possible. The receiver can tell the giver if the pressure, speed, depth, etc., needs to be increased or decreased. Limit your speaking and focus on the pleasurable sensations. (It is my experience that too much talking gets one out of their feelings and diminishes the effects.)

Gently stroke the clitoris with clockwise and counter-clockwise circles. Gently squeeze it between thumb and index fingers. Do this as a massage and not to get the receiver off. The receiver will undoubtedly become very aroused but continue to encourage her to just relax and breathe.

Slowly and with great care, insert the middle finger of your right hand into the Yoni (there is a reason for using the right hand as opposed to the left. It has to do with polarity in Tantra.). Very gently explore and massage the inside of the Yoni/vagina with this finger. Take your time, be gentle, and feel up, down and sideways. Vary the depth, speed and pressure. Remember, this is a massage and you're nurturing and relaxing the Yoni.

With your palm facing up, and the middle finger inside the Yoni, move the middle finger in a "come here" gesture or crook back towards the palm. You will contact a spongy area of tissue just under the pubic bone, behind the clitoris. This is the G-spot or in Tantra, the sacred spot (there are many excellent books that go into detail about this area). Your partner may feel as if they have to urinate or it may be painful or pleasurable. Again vary the pressure, speed and pattern of movement. You can move side to side, back and forth, or in circles with your middle finger. You can also insert the finger that's between your middle finger and pinky. Check with your partner first before sticking two fingers into them. Most women should have no problem and will enjoy the increased stimulation from two fingers. Take your time and be very gentle. You may use the thumb of the right hand to stimulate the clitoris as well.

An option to try if the receiver wants it is to insert the pinky of the right hand into her anus. Ask her first and do not insert your pinky into her Yoni/vagina after it has been in her anus. Use lubrication and be very gentle.

(In Tantra, it is said that when your pinky is in her anus, the next finger and middle finger in her Yoni/vagina, and your thumb on your clitoris, "You are holding one of the mysteries of the universe in your hand.")

So, what is your left hand doing all this time? You can use it to massage the breasts, abdomen, or clitoris. If you massage the clitoris it's usually best to use your thumb in an up down motion, with the rest of your hand resting on and massaging the mound. The dual stimulation of right and left hands will provide much pleasure for the receiver. I do not recommend using your left hand to touch your own genitals because it may take your focus off the receiver. Remember, this massage is for her pleasure and much of the benefit comes from not only the physical stimulation but the intent as well.

Continue massaging, trying different speeds, pressures and motions. Keep breathing and looking into each other's eyes. She may have powerful emotions come up and may cry. Just keep breathing and be gentle. Many women have been sexually abused and need to be healed. A giving, loving and patient partner can be of great value to her.

If she has an orgasm, keep her breathing, and continue massaging if she wants. More orgasms may occur, each gaining in intensity. In Tantra this is called "riding the wave." Many women can learn how to be multi-orgasmic with the Yoni Massage and a very patient partner.

Keep massaging until she tells you to stop. Very slowly, gently, and with respect, remove your hands. Allow her to just lay there and enjoy the afterglow of the Yoni massage. Cuddling or holding is very soothing as well. As you learn to master the Yoni Massage your sex life will be greatly enriched and you will learn a great deal about feminine sexuality.

[LOS Marijuanos]

~New Years Resolution~

There alot of things to look forward to in the new year. It has nothing to do with resolutions. It is new oppurtunities, a chance to day dream about the future, short term and relatively long term. Setting realistic goals.

I want to start out the new year with the man of my dreams, be the women of his dreams. I want to finish the year with him. This year I turn 18, I graduate, I join the army, I move out of the house, I move in with Him. See, a lot is going on in this next year. This reflection is a result of this...date...It is something to be celebrated. Right now, I can see a millin people quitting smoking, or drinking, or losing weight, deciding to be better peoplr, and just generally making changes in their life for the better. I never thought of it before because i see things to close up or to far away, but this is a new year! I am seeing this come in, I am doing what I want to do with it. I am not going to be a victim of life's circumstances. You do what you want to do. There is no such thing as beyond your control!

The new year is an opportunity for reflecting, for seeing yourself in a new light. When I think about a resolution, I am forced to think about myself as a flawed creature who has changes and improvements to make. I will not allow myself to be controlled by outside forces. They may influence me, but what I do is 100% my decision. Macbeth held the bloody dagger in his hand. People were asked who's fault duncan's murder was. People said the gaurds, the witches, lady macbeth; That's Bull! It was macbeth who stabbed duncan.

Everything I do, If I am told to do it, lead to do it, taught, forced, or just influenced, what I do I do! My life is my own. I will not be a victim of life's circumstances. Everything I do is my own fault, just as when I accomplish a mission it is my accomplishment. Gratititude is due to my leaders, my teachers, my instructors, but what I do, I do! My life is mine. I can do with it as I please. I don't have to do anything. I would like to be responsible and do what I have promised to do. Keeping my promise to do an important job has a higher priority than making sergeant tellain happy. Earning money does as well. Making a nice dinner this weekend may have a higher priority than doing something spectacular in february. It may be the other way around. Who knows? But these decisions are all mine to make! I am a creature who was made with free will. I am not a victim of life's circumstances. I will let go of the past, embrace the future, I will be my own person. I will remember that what I do, I do.

This is my resolution.

[LOS Marijuanos]

~Be Whoever You Need to Be~

Some people might say that this is being dishonest. It?s not. This is something that people do naturally. Some people just do it better than others. And once you understand what to do, you will notice that you have done much of these things all your life. Also, it?ll be fun to notice all the times Will is doing these things, so pay attention dammit.

Ready kids? Here we go…

How to Build Rapport

Research has found that most of our communication with others is done via nonverbal means. In other words, although we may be talking with someone, only 7 percent of the total communication the other person receives is verbal. That?s right, kids! Only SEVEN percent of what they receive are your actual words.

Our tone of voice, or HOW we say it, conveys a larger 38 percent. And the remaining 55 percept comes from our facial expressions and body language.

This is significant. This is VERY significant. The vast majority of our communication with someone, the vast majority of what they will pick up from you as they decide if they like what you say and do, comes from everything BUT the actual words you say. Instead, it?s more important HOW you say it and it?s more important what you do with YOUR BODY when you say it.


7% - Words
38% - How words are said
55% - Body Language

There?s a statement floating around relationship-world that is entirely wrong: Opposites attract. This is just not true. People like people who are like them. When you first meet someone, what?s the first thing you do? You talk about the weather, sports, music, whatever UNTIL you find something in common. "Oh my gosh! I LOVE the beach!" Once you find that commonality, the conversation kicks into gear.

Even in those relationships where they insist that they like the person because they are "So much NOT me" they will find many instances where they share many likes and dislikes. It?s the commonalties, the shared interests, which make a relationship work.

So, how can you get people to like you?

First of all, stop worrying about what to say. Yes, what you say is important, but understand that this is just 7% of the communication that matters. (Besides, it?s better to ask questions than to talk. The best conversationalists are those who ask a lot of questions and actually talk the LEAST.) What you want to focus on are the other parts of communication – the 38% of HOW you say things and the 55% of what you do when you say it.

Matching and Mirroring

The first thing you want to do when talking with someone is to match their tone of voice and how fast or slow they talk. If they talk quickly, then you should also talk quickly. If they have a slow drawl like a sutherner?, then talk slowly with hems and haws. And if they talk loudly, then you must do the same. Likewise, if they talk quietly.

Think about this a bit. When was the last time you had a real nice conversation with someone? During this conversation, if that person was opening up their soul, talking quietly, intensely, slowly, really thinking about their words, were you responding with a loud tone of voice while talking real fast? No, you weren?t. Chances are, you had the same tone and tempo.

Have you ever heard two girls talking and had a hard time distinguishing one from the other? "Oh my GOD, can you believe it? I?m sitting there, ok, like right outside of the Gap, and these two guys walked by and said hi!" "Oh my God!" "I know!" "They just said hi?" "Yes, and one was SO CUTE, can you believe it?" "No way! I can?t believe it. Did you get his number? What did he look like?" "Get this…" "OK!" "He goes to the same school as Jenny." "Get out!" "No, I?m serious!" "Way cool!"

(This was an actual conversation I overhead. "Way?" "Way! I am so serious.")

Try this the next time you meet someone you don?t know. Talk just like them and see how quickly they take to you. And what?s really interesting is that NO one EVER notices what you?re doing.

But the easiest thing you can do to build rapport with someone is to model their body language. If they cross their legs, you cross your legs. If they lean back, YOU lean back. If they act nervous and fidgety, you do the same. Whatever they do, you follow. This is the FIRST thing you should do if you want someone to like you or be comfortable with you (for example, in an interview).

This is such a simple thing and it works so well. And if you think it?s dishonest, then you haven?t paid attention to people all that closely. Go somewhere public. If you see two people having an intense, warm conversation, chances are there will be SOMETHING about their body language that is the same. And you do this all the time. The next time you?re with someone you like and you?re having a particularly enjoyable time, notice your bodies. Something will be alike. It?s really kind of fun to see all this happening.

In fact, the next time you have a great conversation with someone, observe the similarities between the two of you. Observe EVERYTHING – the voice, tone, tempo, hand gestures, body language, body position, everything. You will smile as you realize that what I describe is happening.

And what?s even more interesting is that once you?ve built that rapport with someone, you can start LEADING them. For example, if the person is leaning up towards you with their hands separated and you?re doing the same, having a wonderful conversation, after a few moments try sitting back and clasping your hands. The vast majority of the time, the other person will AT LEAST sit back or maybe just bring their hands together, often both. It happens every time. It?s kind of fun.

And believe me, this is hardly a psychological breakthrough. This has been known for a long time and used for even longer. And large corporations are being charged mega bucks for some Joe-Schmoe to come in and teach their salesman and their managers exactly what I just briefly described. If you want more information on NLP, here?s a good place to start http://www.nlpinfo.com/. I imagine Will read Anthony Robbins? Unlimited Power a few years ago. He talks about all this stuff in his book. (And Mr. Robbins learned it from several others, but doesn?t like to give much outside credit.)

So this is your assignment: Pay attention to everyone?s body language and their tone of voice, tempo, etc. Notice how people change. And especially, as it pertains to Big Brother, notice Will and how he does this so well.

So, my compliments to Will (and Nicole) for a game well-played. If either of these two don?t win, it WON?T be because they didn?t play the game as well as the others. It will be a fluke in the system.

Ok kids? Please do your assignments. You?ll have fun.

[LOS Marijuanos]

~A Talk on Prosperity~

I want to talk to you about what might SEEM to be a very simple word..and that word is "goals".

How many people do you know in your life who even HAVE goals? Longevity studies show that people with goals live much longer lives. Goals are not just a concept. Goals are life giving! A group of doctors in Boston did a study on goals. They discovered that people without goals got sick FIVE times as often as those who HAD goals!! Before the Universe can give us anything from the abundant supply that exists for us, IT HAS TO KNOW WHAT WE WANT!!

Goals are our way of telling the Universe what we want, expect, and believe we deserve in our life.

Let's take a trip, all of us together. We get on a bus and drive to the nearest airport, we DE-BUS (love that word!), hop onto our aircraft and take off! It's dark, and all of a sudden it starts to rain. THEN it starts to hail! Lightning begins to flash! Thunder rolls!

Suddenly our Captain begins to talk to us over the intercom. (Naturally he has a deep resonant voice.) He says: "Welcome, success seekers, to flight 104. We will be flying at 30000 feet. We have NO particular destination! We're just gonna fly around in this storm for awhile till we get low on fuel, then we'll look for a place to land!"

How many of you are excited about flying with this guy??

Ok. Let's jump off the plane and get on a sailboat. It's a warm, sunny day with a gentle breeze, all the potential for a wonderful, marvelous time. BUT OUR SAILBOAT HAS NO RUDDER! What are we gonna do? We're gonna drift aimlessly.

What do you want your life to be like? What is your direction? In order to begin to manifest that life we have to make a decision. We have to begin to aim high. We WILL rise to the stature of our goals! Our mind is a "goal seeking" mechanism which can produce any level of living for us. We have SUCH enormous capability to achieve any level of living that we desire. BUT FIRST WE HAVE TO HAVE A DESTINATION, A DIRECTION, GOALS!

Within a torpedo there is a mechanism which puts it back on course if the currents of the water pull it away from its destination. Our mind is like that mechanism. Your mind can bring any goal into being. Dream dreams beyond anything you have ever done or believed you could do, and your mind will immediately begin to produce it for you. And the really wonderful thing is that we don't even have to know HOW it will happen! Our subconscious MIND knows how! Like the mechanism in a torpedo, it will keep us on course.

Make a decision to change your life. You can CHOOSE a new life experience, and until you DO choose, nothing much NEW is gonna happen.

Begin to let your mind soar! Expand your mind and your world! Be a dreamer! Aim higher than you have ever aimed in your life. You don't HAVE to know how! How doesn't count!!! The subconscious mind knows how! The only thing we have to do is DECIDE and let our mind work on it.

Understand this too. There is NO SHORTAGE OF ANY GOOD THING ON THIS PLANET!!! Love, money, gas, spiritual growth, material abundance, the supply far exceeds the demand! We ask too little. If we ask life for a little picky share.. we will GET a little picky share! We have the power to select the future we will stand in the midst of.

Here is what I want you to do. Get a piece of paper, a legal-sized pad is great! At the top of this paper write: "THE WONDERFUL, MARVELOUS, EXCITING LIFE OF.. (Your Name)"

Now write down every goal you can possibly think of! Write down everything you have EVER wanted!

Forget about how! Just write down your wildest imaginings! Allow your mind to soar! Forget the past! Just write every goal, objective, desire that comes into your mind. Travel.. love.. money.. career success.. that new house..new car! ALL OF IT!

DON'T THINK ABOUT how! Don't be logical! Just dream! Think about all the things you could ever want to have or do or become or experience and write it ALL down!

Set goals that feel right to YOU, not ones that would please the family or your friends or even the goals that you "should" want. Play your own music!

Imagine that you had a magic wand and that you could wave it over your life and make it anything you wanted it to be. This list can BE that magic wand!

What would you bring into being? What would you produce for yourself? What's the biggest dream you ever had? Write it down!

We are expanding our mind..expanding our thinking.. opening our mind to higher possibilities. How would you like it to be???

What would make your life FUN? You have the power to choose it! You chose what you have NOW! You have the power to choose something new.

There are no limitations for your mind. It can produce just about anything you can imagine.

This exercise can change your life because most people never establish ANY objectives.

Think big! Expect a lot! In the fullness of time.. we can accomplish anything! Aim high and enjoy the now!

Now, from your list, grab a couple of your most important goals. Print them on a 3x5 card. (PRINT!! Printing is clearer to the sub-conscious mind).

THEN put down a first step you can take to accomplish this goal, even if it is a small one. Like going to the library and getting information on your chosen goal. Or talking to someone who has already ACHIEVED a similar goal to see how they did it and what tips they can offer you.

Put the cards where you see them every day! All day! "We become what we think about all day long". When you think about your goals, your mind is literally moving you in that direction.

Another tip. Keep your goals to yourself for awhile unless you are certain that those you share them with will support you totally! People who don't have goals of their own might say: "YOU?? YOU'RE GONNA DO WHAT?? YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING!!! YOU GOTTA HAVE A DEGREE FOR THAT DON'T YOU????"

Don't subject your goals to criticism or ridicule. Keep them to yourself for now and just let people see the results!

Did you know that scientists tell us that the Bumble Bee can't fly!?? It's aero-dynamically IMPOSSIBLE, because the Bumble Bee's wings are too small and too thin for its body. IT SIMPLY CAN'T FLY!! But the Bumble Bee ALSO can't HEAR..so what does it do??? IT FLYS!!!

We gotta tune out the negative stuff and take charge of our lives and our mind. There is lots of negativity and garbage in society..and if we don't take charge of our life, the garbage is gonna filter into Our minds.

There are a lot of sick, broken, unhappy people in life. How did they get that way? God did it to them?? SHE DID NOT! They believed what people with no goals said to them..and they absorbed their garbage. GIGO..garbage IN..garbage OUT!

Keep your eyes on your goals! Keep your eyes on your dreams! FEEL how it would be to see those dreams come to pass. No limitations. The Universe would LOVE to prosper you!

And the more you succeed, the greater will be your example for others. We NEED to demonstrate growth and success and achieve goals to feel worthwhile about our life.

NOW SAY: "I'M EXCITED ABOUT MY GOALS, MY DREAMS, MY NEW LIFE!! LOOK OUT WORLD!!"

I BELIEVE in your ability to create the highest possible life experience for yourself!

GO FOR IT!!!!

[LOS Marijuanos]

A Better Way to Live - 17 Rules to Live By

1.Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play, and you will finally be able to move forward toward the life that God intended for you . . . with grace, strength courage and confidence.

2.Today and everyday, deliver more than you are getting paid to do. The victory of success will be half won when you learn the secret of putting out more than is expected in all that you do. Make yourself so valuable in your work that eventually you will become indispensable. Exercise your privilege to go the extra mile, and enjoy all the rewards you receive. You deserve them!

3.Whenever you make a mistake or get knocked down by life, don't look back at it too long. Mistakes are life's way of teaching you. Your capacity for occasional blunders is inseparable from your capacity to reach your goals. No one wins them all, and your failures, when they happen, are just part of your growth. Shake off your blunders. How will you know your limits without an occasional failure? Never quit. Your turn will come.

4.Always reward your long hours of labor and toil in the very best way, surrounded by your family. Nurture their love carefully, remembering that your children need models, not critics, and your own progress will hasten when you constantly strive to present your best side to your children. And even if you have failed at all else in the eyes of the world, if you have a loving family, you are a success.

5.Build this day on the foundation of pleasant thoughts. Never fret at any imperfections that you fear may impede your progress. Remind yourself, as often as necessary, that you are a creature of God and have the power to achieve any dream by lifting up your thoughts. You can fly when you decide that you can. Never consider defeat again. Let the vision in your heart be in your life's blueprint. Smile!

6.Let your actions speak for you, but be forever on guard against the terrible traps of false pride and conceit that can halt your progress. The next time you are tempted to boast, just place your fist in a full pail of water, and when you remove it, the hole remaining will give you a correct measure of your importance.

7.Each day is a special gift from God, and while life may not always be fair, you must never allow the pains, hurdles and handicaps of the moment to poison your attitude and plans for yourself and your future. You can never win when you wear the ugly cloak of self-pity, and the sour sound of whining will certainly frighten away any opportunity for success. Never again. There is a better way.

8.Never again clutter you days or nights with so many menial and unimportant things that you have no time to accept a real challenge when it comes along. This applies to play as well as work. A DAY MERELY SURVIVED IS NO CAUSE FOR CELEBRATION. You are not here to fritter away your precious hours when you have the ability to accomplish so much by making a slight change in your routine. No more busywork. No more hiding from success. Leave time, leave space, to grow. Now! This is your day!

9.Live this day as if it will be your last. Remember that you will only find "tomorrow" on the calendars of fools. Forget yesterday's defeats, and ignore the problems of tomorrow. This is it. Doomsday. All you have. Make it the best day of your year. The saddest words you can ever utter are, "If I had my life to live over again...." Take the baton, now. Run with it! This is your day!

10.Beginning today, treat everyone you meet, friend or foe, loved one or stranger, as if they were going to be dead at midnight. Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your live will never be the same.

11.Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat of the moment. Banish tension and concern and worry with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. Never take yourself to seriously.

12.Never neglect the little things. Never skimp on the extra effort, that additional few minutes, that soft word of praise or thanks, that delivery of the very best that you can do. It does not matter what others think, it is of prime importance, however, what you think about you. You can never do your best, which should be your trademark, if you are cutting corners and shirking responsibilities. You are special. Act it. Never neglect the little things!

13.Welcome every morning with a smile. Look on the new day as another special gift from your Creator, another golden opportunity to complete what you were unable to finish yesterday. Be a self-starter. Let your first hour set the theme of success and positive action that is certain to echo through your entire day. Today will never happen again. Don't waste it with a false start or no start at all. You were not born to fail.

14.You will achieve your grand dream, a day at a time, so set goals for each day - - - not long and difficult projects, but chores that will take you, step by step, toward your rainbow. Write them down, if you must, but limit your list so that you won't have to drag today's undone matters into tomorrow. Remember that you cannot build your pyramid in twenty-four hours. Be patient. Never allow your day to become so cluttered that you neglect your most important goal - - - to do the best you can, enjoy this day, and rest satisfied with what you have accomplished.

15.Never allow anyone to rain on your parade and thus cast a pall of gloom and defeat on the entire day. Remember that no talent, no self-denial, no brains, no character, are required to set up in the fault-finding business. Nothing external can have any power over you unless you permit it. Your time is too precious to be sacrificed in wasted days combating in menial forces of hate, jealousy, and envy. Guard your fragile life carefully. Only God can shape a flower, but any foolish child can pull it to pieces.

16.Search for the seed of good in every adversity. Master the principle and you will own a precious shield that will guard you well though all the darkest valleys you must traverse. Stars may be from the bottom of a deep well, when they cannot be discerned from the mountaintop. So will you learn things in adversity that you would never have discovered without trouble. There is always a seed of good. Find it and prosper.

17.Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.

[LOS Marijuanos]

~Liberty and Self-Government~

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

Liberty is the creative power to be yourself and to choose your own path in life without interference. It is the consequence of accepting and maintaining complete responsibility for your own thoughts, choices and actions, as well as making null all things that oppose or restrict your rights as an individual.

As Thelemites, we are independent, self-governed, autonomous men and women. We are free to govern and to control our own lives in accordance with our own natures and wills. The Thelemic Way is for the free expression of each individual in the world, allowing for each of us to pursue our self-chosen and unique path in life without interference from any man, government or religious institution.

To restrict or violate the freedom of the individual is to interfere with his or her life. To impose on this freedom, to restrict its nature, or to violate its code, is the great enemy of the individual. Governments, in general, play a critical role in the perpetuation of the life of this enemy, whereas it should be the responsibility of the government to defend, protect and promote our freedom as individuals, never to restrict this freedom and to violate our individual rights. Otherwise it is not government, but a bar to our progress and evolution.

As Thelemites, we respect and assert every individual as unique, and recognize their own special value in the Universe, affirming the right of everyone to live their own life in their own way. Self-ownership, self-responsibility and self-government are vital elements of our Thelemic Way of Life. In our free way of thinking, the government itself should principally exist to protect and defend our rights to live in absolute freedom. It should not be allowed to violate the rights of any individual and it should only be permitted to exercise criminal law in the event that one has violated the individual rights of another.

As Thelemites, we believe and assert that we are free to control our own lives and we do not give that control over to another. Our life is our own responsibility. We do not let others govern or dominate our lives, and we do not fear to be ourselves and to do our own Wills, but rather do we step forward as true individuals -- responsible, strong and free! -- taking it upon ourselves to be and do what we Will without violating the Will or individual rights of another.

The same liberty we have and desire we also grant to others. We should all be trusted to live our own life in freedom. Lack of trust has been one of the great enemies of mankind, stripping us of our human integrity and respect. It has been the cause of much unnecessary suffering and conflict in the world, between man and man, nation and nation. Lack of trust by the government is detrimental to the free development of the individual. Governments, in general, do not trust, respect or promote the individual. And what is society -- which they claim to serve -- but a collection of individuals? It is individuals who make up society; otherwise, society is only an illusion. The individual is the Soul of Society, and the individual is what counts. A government should exist to protect and promote the fundamental rights of the individual. As it now stands, most so-called forms of government are making people serve their own bureaucratic needs more than serving the genuine needs of the individual. They are in direct conflict with their own intended nature, and it is the people who are directly affected by this conflict, making them weak and dependent, rather than strong and independent.

A Thelemite is one who controls him or herself, not another. Our object is to live and let live, to be free and to give equal freedom to others, to control our own life and to allow all others to do the same. We actively promote the freedom and spirit of the individual. Every individual should be given the equal opportunity to control his or her own life and to be responsible for him or herself. To deprive any one of these gifts of life is to interfere with his or her unique and essential way to self-fulfillment. Every man and every woman is a Star. It is our Great Work, as unveiled Stars of Nuit, to freely pursue our own Orbits of Life, to follow the Way of our own True Natures, and to give equal opportunity to every other Star to do the same, letting all, who Will, become masters and leaders of their own self.

Thelema makes for leaders of the self, not dependent followers of an impersonal and mechanical system of the government. Most so-called forms of government as we know them today are making slaves out of people, not leaders of the self. They are detrimental to the people and they should be abolished, reduced or reconstructed by the Mighty Hand of Liberty to harmonize with the fundamental needs and rights of the individual. Where there's a Will, there's a Way! And as Thelemites, we have the Will and we have a Way -- the Way of Self-government!

Love is the law, love under will.